I first met him when I was 15. Or maybe 16.
He wasn't all that handsome. Plus points of him physically would be that he was tall, and he was older. I wasn't a Christian yet back then so his beliefs didn't matter.
What drew me to him was that he was funny and smart. The jokes he threw wasn't shallow. You know, some jokes are just dirty, or forced, or vulgar.. His wasn't. And me being me, I do like funny guys. But that was it, there really was nothing at the beginning.
Our group of friends hung out a lot, online and offline. We had this group on MSN, and we chatted together almost every night. I remembered this huge deal about my dad. If he decided to peek out of his room and found me still there on the computer, I'm gonna get it. It became a joke among us: my peeking dad. And we all went out A LOT. Movies, dinner, lunch, Timezone, or just playing cards at some foodcourt.. Haih.. Now I miss them.
So in our group, we had a few 'drivers': those who drove their own cars, and he was one of them. Them drivers would split their jobs sending us home depending on where we live, and my house was within his territory, which made him my driver most of the time.
Slowly we grew closer, and it felt natural because we were friends to begin with. There was no awkwardness when we hung out in our group of friends. It was very.. right.
But. He needed to go away to study, and I wasn't ready for a long distance relationship. Not for my first one. We didn't end up together.
So he went away, and the feeling withered and young me fell for someone else. Had my first relationship which lasted for a year.
Then I left for Singapore to study as well. By then, had totally forgotten about him, it had been so long!
But on 2010, I went back to Surabaya for a school break, and he was having his holiday as well. So we met again, and I remembered falling for him all over again. And it hurt alot because I know on his side, there was nothing anymore. Even if there were something (which most probably there weren't), I definitely didn't feel it.
He was still nice and funny. But yeah, you know.
So the holiday ended. He went back to study, and I did too. In the end, that second round of feelings for him died away. Again.
And it never came back. Our story stopped there.
Well, it never even begun.
We met a few more times after that. There were no more butterflies though.
We're still friends how :)
So why am I suddenly talking about him?
Because just now, while doing my homework, Itunes decided to play 'Secrets' by One Republic, which yes, is the song I prepared for you above.
During that 2010 break, our group of friends decided to watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and on the movie, this song played during one of their scenes which I find super romantic: The Tesla Coil Scene. This is not your normal mushy mushy romantic scene: there were lightning and cages and what not. Dave was head over heels for Becky and it was all over that particular scene.
And I remember how all my emotions amplified when the song played. The irony of the scene I was watching and the reality I was in. The pressing feeling you have when you like someone so much, but you know you'll never be together cos the other party doesn't feel the same way.
Yet, I love this song. The memory it holds was bitter, but the feelings were not.
Everytime it played, I would get all tingly. It kind of highlighted that particular point of my life. There's an emotional attachment between me and the song.
Anyway, I shall go to bed now. Good night!
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away.
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