the afterthoughts of UP.

UP isn’t my first bible camp. But it was one of the bible camps which gives a deep impression in my heart. And I believe it’s not only me, cos last night I had a long touching chat with a few members of my FA, and I can say most of them are deeply touched as well. The most unexpected things came from the most unexpected peoples. I would’ve never guessed that they feel what they felt at all. It’s super touching!

Then I wondered, why? Technically, the programs are pretty general for me. Almost the same as any other bible camps. Why is this one so different? Why is the impact so huge? (Well this is my personal opinion. But I do believe I’m not alone. I spent quite some time yesterday scrolling down my FB live feed, and the statuses I read are pretty amazing. Some very pumped up, some very touching, all sorts of statuses but basically stating the same thing. The bible camp left quite an impression. They are blessed.)

I asked God why, and immediately I was reminded of something. And it was the fasting week before the bible camp. I learn that there’s a connection between the two. I believe the prayers and fasts did not go to waste. I know ‘praying and fasting’ are mentioned in the bible quite a few times. Even our Lord Himself did it! Means, there is really something about praying and fasting. If not, He wouldn’t have done it because basically all that Jesus does is an example for us to follow.

I don’t know much yet, but one thing I’m sure of is that that praying and fasting week didn’t go to waste (repeating myself). Both for the ones who are doing it and the things being prayed and fasted for. God is so kind, isn’t He? Everything He tells us to do, it will bring benefits to us whose doing it too. Amazing :)

Short post, but just sharing my thoughts while it’s hot. Nite! :D

UP!

Just attended a BCS Youth aka TLG Bible camp, 28-29 May 2011 with the theme “UP”

It is indescribable but I’ll try my best to describe.

It cannot be put into just one simple word. It’s awesome. refreshing. full of blessings. recharging. fun. unexpected. tangible. hyped. exciting. important. bonding. life changing (not the getting a million dollar type. it’s so reserved but crucial). touching. argh!

I don’t think chronological details are important. Lets skip it. I’ll just blabber about what I feel.

On the bus, joking with ce Kenny as the ‘leader’ started the hype. Before, we were so quiet and civilized. All so ladies and gentlemen. Then I forgot what started it, we started joking and throwing dry jokes and asking dry questions, but it was so funny. I tried to imitate ko Andri telling the “Bakso Setan, Jendela Biru, and Siomay Setan”, but imitation will never compare to the real deal. Also tried “Misteri 3 bola pingpong”. Oh my image…. hahaha

Then I moved to the back and played capsa with Philip, Ko Iie, and Ce Jenita. You know, I feel that playing capsa somehow bonds people in a way. Especially the King Slave version. I realized that Philip was so sweet, offering his drink when he knew I was thirsty. Simple geesture, touches hearts. (Guys learn from him k.) We also played ‘ceblek nyamuk’ when we reached. Wenny and Gary.. epic fight sia.. Gary you were lucky. If only ko Hendra didn’t disturb, Gary (the final loser) would’ve said something very heart warming to Ko Ceka. Tsk.

One thing I have to highlight. The Praise and Worship (PAW) was AMAZING. AMAZING. RAD. People who jumped, you would really feel the double impact. HAPPY! YOUTH! I cannot hold myself from jumping anymore now (Shy what? Embarrassed what?) I mean, it’s not about the jumping, you are absolutely free to express yourself. But I think jumping for God is FUN!!!

Who says all churches are boring? Or God is boring and old fashioned? A church full of young people with a passion for The Lord is FULL OF FIRE!!! We ROCK for our LORD!! The happiness of praising Jesus is overwhelming, I cannot help myself!! Try it, people. Trust me, people dont pay attention that much (didn’t you see all of them were enjoying themselves? I do realize more and more people jump as the PAW goes on. Guess they can’t hold themselves back too >:D) you won’t regret it. It’s addictive. A good addiction.

Session 1 and 2 is preached by Ps. Sapta from Palembang. There are lots of revelation revealed, and what God’s message through him was very strong, important and crucial I think. It’s a strong base for our faith in Jesus. And he’s so funny hahhaa! Not boring at all. Noone I knew felt sleepy. All glory goes to God.

I admire how he’s flexible with his message. He prepared something beforehand, but then God told him to share on another thing, and he just followed. And following what God orders never results in any bad. A good example of sensitiveness towards the Holy Spirit, and a complete surrender to God.

Session 3 and 4 was shared by Ko Harun. He’s so funny laa hahaha his face is a smiling face. Like smiling all the time. The sessions had a more relaxed vibe. But the prayer time that followed.. Whoohhh…. God works amazingly. Encounters happened. People cried bad, some not that bad, some didn’t. But God was strong that night. I know people are touched, and I know something in them has changed. Jesus is amazing. His touch is amazing. His presence is.. *thinking for a word..* I don’t know.. It’s peaceful yet I feel something is about to explode from my chest, like you cannot contain it. I can feel He’s big.

More on the PAW team:

• Philip (again) jumping while playing guitar. Gosh, you could see how he’s enjoying it!!! Looking at him like that somehow makes me soooo happy too!! I think excitement and joy is contagious!


• And seeing him (again) with his smaller female version, JenTjung, and Glenn (and another guy too but I don’t know who he is so didn’t pay much attention) handling their flags.. ARGH I feel SO hyped and happy and excited!! Swinging their flags around with their complicated moves, jumping around, with a smile on their faces! That smile and enjoyment!!! Seeing them so happy serving makes me so happy praising!! And I’m not curious why they serve with such joy. The God we worship is that amazing :)


• And our very own Mykey!!! Handling the drum like that! He always suddenly somehow seems so cool when he’s on the drums. That small chicken little can be so all out hitting those drums!!! Those strong beats at the beginning of the praise (or fast as Ko Willy says) songs puts a happy smile on my face when I’m jumping praising!!


• Then during the bridge, Bern rocks the guitar melody like mad!!! I remember in “Take it all” and “What the world will never takes” Soooo cool!!! The tune keeps repeating in my head. I know I kept saying “cool” but human language is so limited!! I can’t express it any other way!! It’s like a huge bunch of joy and excitement exploding all the time listening and watching them play!!


• And knowing that they do it all for our Lord Jesus completes my joy!! :) On top of all their coolness, God is the coolest!!!

It’s very fulfilling (I don’t care if this is even the wrong word to use) to know that we don’t sing for nothing, that we don’t jump for nothing, that we don’t hit the drums with all our strength for nothing, that we don’t strum and pick the guitar will all our God given skills for nothing, that we don’t play the keyboard for nothing, that our thumb and middle finger tire handling the base is not for nothing.. They are not empty sounds. They are music played full of gratitude praising our GOD! We do all that for the One and only One deserving!! And knowing that He watches and listens and delights over it, how FULFILLING! How SATISFYING!! How it brings JOY!

And praising God as a whole! As His beloved children! As a FAMILY! It just adds up to it!!! I thank God that He puts me here in TLG. I feel a sincere acceptance from this family in Christ. And I know something’s different here. It’s not a group of human being running the place, it’s The Living God Himself. That’s why, through hardships and processes happening, with myself and others, I don’t want to leave this family of Christ. I like the idea of growing stronger together, of overcoming hardships and bonding more in God together, seeing God’s works together.. Isn’t it exciting? And comforting? And encouraging? Heaven yeah!!

Then after reaching Singapore, after the retreat, I ate dinner at Botak Jones with Ghon, Mikey, Ko Nathan, Donna, Ce Becky, Ce Stephanie, Ko Ivan, Ce Siska, and later joined by Ko Hendry. And I realized I mostly mingle around only with my own FA. Just now at Botak Jones, I had a LOT of fun!!! Joke around like crazy, laugh until my head hurts, eventhough at first I was a bit moodless, it turned like literally 180 degrees. It opened my eyes that there’s more to TLG that I’m not exposed to yet. There are more things in store that God has for us! The Botak Jones experience did make a change on my mindset. I’m thankful :D

I got to know a lot of new people!! And I realize how everyone doing their simple2 unique personal habit is very special! Some to mention:

• I like how Pricil always huggs people when meeting.


• I realize how Ko Raimond, Ce Manda, Ce Siska, and Ce Steph easily laughs. Very comforting. 


• Then Ko Iie who looks quite and reserved suddenly do all this unexpected weird2 jokes. 


• And Mardian who is sooo tender yet then suddenly do this unexpected weird2 things, like repeating what the preacher says. 


• Then Ghon and Ko Andri and the newly met Donna with their fights, superfunny!! 


• Ce Yoan who pays attention to all the very little details of her ‘children’. 


• Ko Ceka with his almost neverending patience that backfires (makes us bully him all the time) lol! 


• Ce Becky who turns out to be very motherly (this one’s from Ghon). Ria also motherly. 


• Ce Ricci who laughs at the end of almost every sentence. 


• And Group 4, and room 351 with our sharing, 


• and lots and lots that could not be mentioned here..

I’m a type of person who easily gets affected by all these. When I realize something is so special to me, sometimes I get mellow embracing them. And now I’m feeling kinda that way about TLG. But here I learn remember that all this is from God, and only God to be praised, to be glorified, to be having all the gratitude :)

TLG is not a group created by the right group of people. It’s something that God has planned and designed to it’s very detail for every single one of us in this family. So He deserves all the credit :) I’m sincerely thankful to God for this family. This huge gratitude in my heart, He’s the only One who deserves it and big enough to receive it not get overwhelmed by it. TLG is just His children walking in His plans, meeting each other at His right time, serving Him with His gifts, going according His storyline..

If any TLG-ers are reading this, I would want to remind us including myself, not to be overwhelmed by TLG itself. Be overwhelmed by God only, and just go with His flow. Don’t be afraid of losing TLG, or changes that might happen in the future (this works esp for me. When I get too comfortable with something, I don’t like it to change). If He plans it, it is gonna ba GOOD :)

So hereby I end my attempt on summarizing these 2 days.

I’m speechless. I think God specializes in making people speechless, yeah?

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Ok, see you next post!! :) God Bless!

wishlist.

1. BB cream


2. Eye cream


3. A dress


4. A small bag


5. A skinny body


6. “Purpose Driven Life” english version


7. him with a small “h”


8. Jesus Culture CD

Happy!

I’m feeling so happy! I’m 2 days over 20 years old and I’m feeling haaaaaaappy!!
I’ve gotten an internship interview, that’s a relief
I don’t know. I’ve got great friends, doing pretty well at school, trying out new things like musical and singing, being molded in areas of my life, which isn’t easy but I know it’s for good, and I’m thankful and excited to see what kind of better and stronger person I’m going to be!
The best part is, I’m not afraid of losing any of those, because I didn’t earn it in the first place. It’s all God given, so I have no pressure! God gives, God takes away, God strengthens, everything is up to Him and I’m just here receiving!
Yea I did the auditions, yea I tire for ISP, yea I seem to be doing all the physical work, but trust it or not, I enjoyed every bit of it. The Holy Spirit gave me the will to do it, I WANTED to do it, and did it when I want to, really, and rested and did other things when I had no mood. (esp for ISP)
Eventhough there are times I panicked for a bit, deep down I know it’s going to be ok because we all are just running around on the palm of Daddy’s hand.
There are countless times where good things seems to happen coincidentally. Oh no, its not coincident. It’s called FAVOR. It happens so often from the small things to big things that I lost track.
I’m a human living in flesh. One day when things gets hard and all these slip away from my mind, I’m writing now so I can always remind myself all these truths. Chaaao

twenty!!

Today (09052011) is my birthday!! I’m for goodness sake TWENTY years old!!

A bit excited about that fact, a bit nervous, but just like my fellow sekya, Ria, said: “age is just a matter of number.” It doesn’t determine much. Not your maturity, not your way of interacting, not your way of thinking, not much. Looking at Mardian and Mikey, being 20 seems less scary. LOL (Mardian was treating it like it was nothing, he was supercool about it. COOL bro!!)

• Mikey and Mardian. One of the first guys to reach 20 in our FA Sekya. Look at them! Not 20-ish at all. Makes me happy lol

So, originally, here’s the plan for the day.

1. Wake up


2. breakfast


3. sate


4. exercise


5. lunch


6. bathe


7. draw


8. dinner


9. sleep. 

But somehow I know I wouldn’t be at home. At least for dinner, I know I’m going out, whoever it may be with.

Woke up at 10 (after having a superbad flu the day before and the day before that), had breakfast more than usual (my herbalife shake, PLUS bread+kaya and yoghurt), and there was a whatsapp message from ce Joan, asking me out at 4. I said ok. Then I sate (saat teduh, red), then went to bed again (out of schedule), then woke up, drank another shake, and did some aerobics (found a random video on shape.com.sg), had a shower, and left for orchard to meet ce Joan. Met with ko Ceka first at orchard, then went to Bakerzin at Paragon.

When I reached, I saw two tables put together, and in one of them are ce Joan and ko Willy. Immediately I knew there are people coming (though I don’t know who it will be), since one table sits 4 person (2 tables = 8 person, while there was only 4 person there including me). But I just kept quiet la lol.

Then ordered a few desserts. It was sooo gooood!!! I would definitely go there again!!! I ordered chocolate melted cake or something and it was very good I finished it in like 3 minutes. It’s a chocolate cake with ice cream on top, with melted chocolate inside. nyyyyyam!!

• this one!! Image taken from ladyironchef.com

It came with a candle on top. Idk how the candle was there cos I didn’t see in any way ko willy telling the waitress to put one. Mystery. Maybe they used some secret code or something.

The rest ordered some delicious stuff too. Then in walked Ghon, Ria, and Mikey. Was 50% surprised lah but I was super happy they were there :D

Then we talk talk talked until it was around time for dinner. Then ce Joan went to the toilet, and this conversation happened (all translated to english). It went something like:

Ko Willy (W): Where do you want to eat dinner?

Me (K): I don’t know

W: What type of food do you want? Indonesian? Western? Japanese?

K: If Japanese, where are we going to eat?

W: Hmm.. there’s Sakae Sushi upstairs..

K: But lazy already lah, just eat here?

W: OK!

Then ce Joan came back from the restroom and Ko willy told her that I wanted to eat there at Bakerzin. Then ce Joan said that she wanted to take me somewhere else for dinner, so we left.

Took bus to Dhoby Ghaut, and walked to Plaza Singapura, where I OBVIOUSLY saw my soul brother, JANSEN ONG, 

this guy, in front of MIKEY, who was in front of ME, and he was running away. I was about to say hi but he ran away do fast. Like so weird. As stupid as you may think I am, I sincerely thought he was with his housemates, because yesterday him and his housemates went karaoke-ing, and I thought they were hanging out today too.

I confronted Mikey, asking why he didn’t say hello to Jansen or ask him to join us, but he kept saying he didn’t see him, which was obviously a LIE. But as nonsense as it sounds, I choose to believe him in the end. I’m like that one, don’t want to lengthen small small stuff.

Then we crossed the street, towards a huge-huge manmade pond. I thought we are going to a restaurant somewhere and I wasn’t bothered at all. Some more Ghon was talking about some very interesting stuff. Then suddenly I heard people singing “Happy birthday” and I saw (almost) MY WHOLE FA!!

• more or less this group of people

I was shocked and happy and touched and in complete disbelief, because earlier was the Ghon-Ria-Mikey surprise and for me that was really good enough anyone would take the time (and skipping class) for my birthday. I really really didn’t expect another one!! They got me good.

There were more Sekya, and even the seniors!!!! From work, they came! One even came from Joo Koon!!

• (that happy guy in blue on the right..)

If anyone of you are reading, thank you sooo much!!! It really really means a lot to me and I appreciate it a lot!! I didn’t expect they would take the time and trouble. I mean, its Monday (not friday friday friday… ok HA!) and working is tiring and Joo Koon is far and stuff.. Wow, thank you.

Ce Enny gave a slice of cake with a candle on top.

Made a wish, blew the candle. And moments later…

there’s whipped cream all over my visible skin, from face to hands to LEGS.. complete body treatment!! I was like.. pasrah already hahaha do whatever you want lah I surrender.

.

• this guy happy sia.. >.>

It took me a while to recognize the whipped cream. I was like, where did this come from? There’s no cake! (In my head, cream = cake) After a few seconds of loading then I realize it’s whipped cream from the can hahaha.

After a few moments of whip-creaming me, suddenly there were tissues and they started cleaning me hahahaha! I find it so funny because its almost like it’s timed or something. One moment its cream cream cream and snap! and suddenly its all tissue tissue tissue, like so cute :D And it’s so thoughtful that they prepared the wet tissue!!

Then when I was cleaning my sandals on the pond, suddenly out of nowhere Mardian came with a puny flower, still with the leaves, and gave it to me. First standing, then knelt down for a photo, like so funny!! The flower was supposed to be placed on my ear and he gave it with the leaves. LOL.

And ce Joan tied my hair sideways to make balance the flower. Aesthetics are important!!

I liked how I looked~

Then they prayed for me led by ce Shella, and I finished the slice of cake! Full cream, fatty, yet full of love :D Then we went to ate at nihonmura but it’s almost closed, so we moved to Popeyes. Almost no place to sit but finally managed to get a whole row for us :D

• while waiting.. sempet yeee

• so now you know who the true narcissists are in Fanda, cos this foto is NOT candid.

• made for each other

Ko Dedi and ce Oya were late but they came and I’m happy!!!

• nothing special but it’s a nice pic :)

Then we ate ate ate and talked talked talked. Ghon and the Novenas (Mardian, Christine, and soul brother) went home first. Then ard 10.45 we went off. Chuiel even practiced his Ahbeng walk and it was sooo funny!!! hahahhaa intermezzo2…. I wore the mardian flower all the way to Ang Mo Kio.

And ko Willy, nice act when asking for the dinner location. clap clap clap. lol

Today was long and fun and exciting. Thank you soooo much FA ANDA!!! The first day of my third decade of life is amazing thanks to you ppl!! Most of all, thank You JESUS for everything including sending these people into my life!!! If they are amazing, You as the creator are even more bombastic!! And for all of you who gave me wishes, thank you too!! I’m sooooo happy this day!!

Thank you!! :)

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If I were to describe my feelings,

I

felt

special

:)

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life per 060511

ISP is finally over!! I’m so happy!! Now trying to get an internship..

Lots are happening in this current period of my life.

I’m turning 20 in less then 72 hours. Man! Daddy, your baby is a big girl! Another year and usia siap nikah already le.. hahhaa!

Musical is happening later this year. I love my character!! I’ve only known her for a while now but I’m already learning things from her. Mostly about not taking yourself too seriously.. I know this is the opposite of what people have been saying, but at certain times I know I just have to let loose and just enjoy this life of God given freedom! Sometimes I forget.

Also, from this musical I got to know a few more ppl from church, like my twin brother Dodo, Ncep (his acting is real good!) and ce Ita (who gave relationship advices in our first ever walk together to the mrt stn. COOL!) and lots of others. I really need to let go and LEBAY myself away. Something new, something exciting!

Bible camp is also happening in less then a month!! I know it’s gonna be exciting!! Special things usually happen in retreats. O God I pray You work amazingly. I want my life to be changed. again! I’ll probably be more hyped up closer to the date.

Internship. God, help. Again.

Apprenticeship. This one I’m really thankful to God!! Ppl in my FA should know since they are the live followers, from when I was praying I would get through and yesterday where we had our first session. I’m being mentored by supergreat design people. What an opportunity! What a privilege! What favor! :)

FA multiplying!! I see this as a fulfillment of God’s promise to FA Anda. I love FA Anda. They’re my family in Singapore! To multiply (or split to be more literal).. In a sense I’m happy. I am seeing the fulfillment of God’s promise! And if this is meant to be, I know God has something superduper in store for us!

There is a tiny bit of sadness. I for sure will miss miss FA Anda. In a year since joining YRC and FA Anda, I learnt a LOT of stuff. I learnt about what grace really is, the meaning and power of the blood of Christ, how God is literally near.. I feel that I’ve grown. All credit goes back to God. I know I’m going to learn and grow MORE from now on. Not by the strength, wisdom, power, might, friendliness, etc of our new and upcoming ‘mami’s, ‘papi’s, and children, but by Jesus’!!

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Something God has been teaching me about lately is inferiority. No details, but it’s a long hard process. Yet in the end, it always comes back to Him, relying in Him. “I can’t, but You can!!”

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fin!