We got this sudden news that Monday that Fian was about to suddenly fly back to Indo for good that Friday. It was not a good news. So with the little time we had, we wanted to maximise our time with him.
My throat wasn't doing too well to begin with. So it didn't help that on Wednesday night, Popeye's was the only restaurant left open after our quality session with Fian (playing Escape at The Cathay. We failed.)
So I had Popeyes for dinner. Then, the whole group left except me, Ko Nathan, and Fian. Then, Bern joined in, so there were the 4 of us. We were walking aimlessly to Fort Canning Park when we started singing random songs. Then I was like, "I know what we should do. Karaoke."
And fascinatingly all of them were up for it.
So we went karaoke-ing for 3 hours.
And the next day I woke up with this intense pain on my throat, with a tiny bit of fever (I think.) I thought it was a normal sore throat so I just drank tons of honey lemon and ate those Pei Pa Koa sweets. It didn't get better. Drinking water was painful. Making it warm helped a bit. And that night, I barely got any sleep because swallowing my saliva was basically torture.
So Friday came about and I woke up hoping to feel better only to be disappointed painfully (literally.) We went to send Fian away that day. A few friends were telling me to go to the doctor, but me being myself hates going to the doctor. I felt that I could still go on, and the hope that I will get better was still alive. I even went to FA that night. At this point, my voice was so disfigured it sounded very sexy (haha). I could feel the insides of my throat swelling. Drinking and swallowing saliva was still torture, which made trying to sleep a torturing process as well. Barely slept again. I remembered myself thinking, "if I were to go to hell, I probably would have to experience this forever. Good thing I'm saved." #thankingGodatalltimes #ontheroll
I woke up at 7 am on Saturday, in which usually I would just go back to sleep again, but my nasty throat wouldn't let me. It was so painful, I could feel the swelling grow. It's up to the roof of my mouth by then. It was the worst. I gave in, and stayed up waiting for the closest clinic to open, which was at 8 am. Watched youtube video and sorts, all the while with my throat trying to murder me.
So finally I got my antibiotics and proper meds. The doctor said it was an infection. He banned me from talking. "No screaming, no whispering, both extremes would upset your throat. If need be, use sign language." (and I completely disobeyed. I whispered my way the whole day. Sigh) By then, I couldn't even utter words. It would just be air squeezing out of my vocal chords, with occasional unidentified noises.
The cough syrup that the doctor gave would cause drowsiness, which was heaven sent cos I haven't been getting proper sleep the past two days. So I went back home, cooked breakfast, took all the meds, and went straight to bed. It was heaven.
Woke up again for lunch time, did some work, and headed to TLG. (ootd here.)
So as I said, I almost couldn't speak at all. I was basically whispering to everyone. Which in a weird way was enjoyable.
In the usual TLG fashion, we started with the Praise and Worship session. In my unusual mute fashion, I couldn't utter a single note. And the whole point of this post is just to say this:
I really enjoyed that mute worship.
I think it's because I don't have my voice to distract myself. I didn't have to care how I sounded (I hate to admit it but sometimes I do), I didn't care if I couldn't reach certain notes..
I just didn't have to.. care.
It's just the raw cry of my heart to God, without the additional vessel of my voice. And I'm in no way saying that singing as a form of your worship is bad. At all. But I'll have to admit that sometimes it can be distracting. And I've had a fellow musician friend confirm that he gets what I'm saying, so apparently I'm not alone in this self-distracting matter.
It was a very loving reminder for me I guess. That worship is supposed to be personal and raw. It's essentially between your heart and God. He hears you and that's what actually really matters. It's good to strip down once in a while, and just make it private and personal and honest between you and Daddy.
So good night people! That's my short story of how I lost my voice for a weekend. The pain was terrible, but life needed its seasonings right. :D
