Some people you can just talk to.
They've got that welcoming vibe.
Hillsong
Hillsong has a definite special place in my heart.
I love Hillsong, I love anything related to Hillsong. Mention the name, it can raise a certain delight in me. I do wonder why. I like Planetshakers, Jesus Culture, TW, whatever.
But I LOVE Hillsong.
I first heard of Hillsong during my highschool days, when I haven't repented. They was the days when Darlene is getting popular, I think. I saw the CD in class, a friend was borrowing the CD from another friend. But due to the (sorry) unexciting cover, I took no interest.
Now it makes me wonder. If they were exchanging Hillsong CDs, most likely they were Christians. If they had told me about Jesus back then, they could've made my teenage years so different. But they didn't. I came across tons of Christians before I finally repented. None told me about how beautiful Jesus is. I heard about him vaguely in my Catholic Church.
But still I got to know Him, in our own unique way (Story here). Which just shows God is good, He didn't let go of me, and neither of you, right?
Noone came evangelizing to my face about Him, or forcing me to come to cellgroup or church or whatever. Only thing I can remember is Gisella (yes, THAT Gisel Idol) asked me to come to a mini crusade in her church (which was Mawar Sharon as well. Talk about fate), 6 years before I repented. Might seem insignificant, but it isn't. Eventhough it took 6 years, what she did made a difference. It made me know Who to look for when I finally realized I needed a God.
OK, back to Hillsong.
I was exposed to Hillsong again after I repented in 08. They were singing these beautiful songs during praise and worship at church, and them lyrics were so alive, unlike any song I've ever heard before! Then I found out it was Hillsong.
Songs like Take it All and Look to You highlighted my early days as a new creation. Healer was a new song back then. Favorite worship song then was Where The Love Lasts Forever.
Take it All gave me a new perspective of doing things in life. That I'm doing whatever I was doing in life for a reason now! For a Person. It wasn't just for myself for an uncertain future, now it is something bigger. It gives life and activities meaning.
Our praise, and all we are today, take take take it all!
My young teenage heart was burning with a new passion of living for God! It really helped of putting into perspective how He is supposed to be in the top position in my mental priority list. All that I am, I give to Jesus. It's a joyful feeling to be able to give anything to anyone. Moreover, your praise and your all, to God.
A few week after I was baptized, I broke up with my ex. So, my early repentance days was going hand in hand with a deep broken heart post breaking up. But I guess it was a good timing, cos it made me run to God to heal my broken heart instead of whatever there is out there that the world has to offer. And Look to You was my anthem.
So I look to You, so I look to You! Noone else will do, noone else will do!
It made me see that my boyfriend will never be able to fill the emptiness in my heart, ever. It's putting too much responsibility in him that we all know he will never be able to fulfill. That position, only God can do.
Singing the song zapped my focus back to Jesus, the only One who will ever.. do. You need love, His love will never fail. You need healing, He is healing. You need a friend, He is your eternal bff who is ever interested in your life: that crush you have, that excessive fat on the thighs, that fun career you are aiming for, that zit that is bugging you..
Whatever the means He uses to bless you, when you have Him, that's it. Everything else is from Him. He holds a position of fulfillment in your life that noone else will ever be able to give. Noone else will do. So look to Jesus!
There were times when I'd feel so lonely. Just broken up, wasn't that close with my family (biological or not), not a lot of buddies.. I knew I had socializing issues. And it took a long time for me to just admit it, that I wasn't that it-girl I'd always wanted to be. And it took a second of revelation to realize that that was completely okay!
So I throw my life upon all that You are, cos I know You gave it all for me. When all else fades, my soul will dance with You, where the Love lasts forever.
My life now, is in the hands of Jesus, of someone who gave all for me (and you). He left heaven, He let go of His comfort and position as God, came to earth and in the end let go of His Father's presence, His friends, His family, His clothes, lost His disciples, humiliated, and in the end, gave His life. For me and you. All that, you can see at the cross. And all that He gave up, is for you and me to receive: The presence of The Lord, friends, family, clothes on your back, provision and food for you to eat.. Which Hillsong also sang about in Beautiful Exchange. But that's a whole other story. I'm talking about Where the Love Lasts Forever now.
Imagine that teenager, having some serious self image issues. Guided by the stunning lyrics of a song, knowing that there was a God (not only a human, but God Himself), propelled by mere love, would gave up all, just for her. Just so that after all this life on earth, He could be with her in a situation where she could be loved with a love that never dies, His love that lasts forever.
I would cry to the song. The revelation it brings slowly but surely healed me inside out. I felt so loved, and it gives me that sense that I mean something to someOne, that someOne sees me of worth. Now don't get me wrong. I know we are not worthy. We are saved by God's grace and that's it, none of our performance plays part. But because I know I'm not worthy, yet God sees me worth saving, it is too much to comprehend, too good to be true.
God sees you worth sending His Son to die for, my friend. He loves you, and He wants you to be with Him. Period.
The song also shifts my focus from life now, to life after now. There is something better after we leave this earth: We will be with Him! And that place will be so beautiful, I couldn't imagine.
Back in 08 I haven't really known what the gift of salvation really means. Now I know FOR SURE that I will see Him. But even just the hope of seeing God is already powerful enough to ease the pain. How much more the assurance that you WILL be with Him!
Lots of other songs from Hillsong has beautiful messages. I'm not saying other Christian bands and singer doesn't. There are tons of anointed singers out there. But again, Hillsong has a soft spot in me.
Few more of my all time favorite songs besides those three, songs that left some deep footsteps:
One more aspect that I really respect about Hillsong is that they really make quality music, that is on par if not better than some of the secular music. I mean, if you would create crappy low quality songs about Jesus then of course people would prefer secular music! But because there are quality Christian songs like these, I would happily choose Hillsong over any band or singer you would offer me. They are on trend and young! I really really am happy about that.
Gives us young Believers something cool to listen to other than old hymns. Not that hymns are uncool. But yeah. I'm saying it has its own place, but definitely not in my iphone on the way to school. Maybe on someone else's. I don't know.
And as a designer, I love their design and branding!! Oooohhh I'm excited. They have evolved a lot since the days of the first picture I put above. They are cool now. Super cool. So cool that it's inspiring. I'm just happy that the band I love pays good attention to design as well. ARGH. Two of my favorite things in life.
My favorites of their designs are the last two United albums, Aftermath and Zion. They are so cool can!!!!! Jaime Jie bought me the Aftermath album for my birthday last year. I was a little disappointed at first since I've got all their songs already, but boy once I opened it, them disappointments crumbled to inexistence.
Their series of aftermath stuff.
It. Was. Freaking. Cool.
I'm so glad she bought me the album. Thanks a lot Jie!!!
This year, how they prepared for Zion really gets people pumped up. The teaser teased successfully. Their marketing on Instagram was beautiful and smart. I was bought big time. It got me sooooooooooo hyped.
All pics brom their facebook.
And finally...
My very own Zion!!!! Go get it people!!! It's in stores now!!! And buy lah, don't download.. They worked hard for this! :)
I am a designer and illustrator. And I am a Believer. My biggest aim in life is to be able to design for God. That would be so amazing! And Hillsong inspires and gives me hope. The scale of what they are going, I want to do! Oooh I really love this band. They are amazing.
If one day someone from Hillsong reads this, know that I am really thankful of your existence and ministry. It has definitely touched me, and countless lives out there. God has used you so well in impacting my life. Just, THANK YOU!!!
For all aspiring Christian songwriters.. Hillsong definitely had their early days.. Go to youtube and you can see how they have evolved! But know that what you are doing really can impact and change people's lives! So if you like it, and even better if you are sure this is you calling, don't fret! You're doing something amazing for His Kingdom!!
For me, Hillsong is more than just a mere Christian band with cool songs. They more or less changed my life. They were there all along my walk with Jesus. Through them, I got to know my Jesus a lot more. I often use their songs to worship during my quiet time. So like how sometimes lovers have their "own" song, Hillsong's are mine and Jesus'. Their songs are a life soundtrack. An inspiration. A blessing. How bland will life be without them.
I think my 13 year old little brother Bryan described it best.
"Hillsong made praising Jesus fun."
Well said, bro.
I love Hillsong, I love anything related to Hillsong. Mention the name, it can raise a certain delight in me. I do wonder why. I like Planetshakers, Jesus Culture, TW, whatever.
But I LOVE Hillsong.
I first heard of Hillsong during my highschool days, when I haven't repented. They was the days when Darlene is getting popular, I think. I saw the CD in class, a friend was borrowing the CD from another friend. But due to the (sorry) unexciting cover, I took no interest.
 |
| Think it was this one. I remembered it has Darlene on the cover. |
Now it makes me wonder. If they were exchanging Hillsong CDs, most likely they were Christians. If they had told me about Jesus back then, they could've made my teenage years so different. But they didn't. I came across tons of Christians before I finally repented. None told me about how beautiful Jesus is. I heard about him vaguely in my Catholic Church.
But still I got to know Him, in our own unique way (Story here). Which just shows God is good, He didn't let go of me, and neither of you, right?
Noone came evangelizing to my face about Him, or forcing me to come to cellgroup or church or whatever. Only thing I can remember is Gisella (yes, THAT Gisel Idol) asked me to come to a mini crusade in her church (which was Mawar Sharon as well. Talk about fate), 6 years before I repented. Might seem insignificant, but it isn't. Eventhough it took 6 years, what she did made a difference. It made me know Who to look for when I finally realized I needed a God.
OK, back to Hillsong.
I was exposed to Hillsong again after I repented in 08. They were singing these beautiful songs during praise and worship at church, and them lyrics were so alive, unlike any song I've ever heard before! Then I found out it was Hillsong.
Songs like Take it All and Look to You highlighted my early days as a new creation. Healer was a new song back then. Favorite worship song then was Where The Love Lasts Forever.
Take it All gave me a new perspective of doing things in life. That I'm doing whatever I was doing in life for a reason now! For a Person. It wasn't just for myself for an uncertain future, now it is something bigger. It gives life and activities meaning.
Our praise, and all we are today, take take take it all!
My young teenage heart was burning with a new passion of living for God! It really helped of putting into perspective how He is supposed to be in the top position in my mental priority list. All that I am, I give to Jesus. It's a joyful feeling to be able to give anything to anyone. Moreover, your praise and your all, to God.
A few week after I was baptized, I broke up with my ex. So, my early repentance days was going hand in hand with a deep broken heart post breaking up. But I guess it was a good timing, cos it made me run to God to heal my broken heart instead of whatever there is out there that the world has to offer. And Look to You was my anthem.
So I look to You, so I look to You! Noone else will do, noone else will do!
It made me see that my boyfriend will never be able to fill the emptiness in my heart, ever. It's putting too much responsibility in him that we all know he will never be able to fulfill. That position, only God can do.
Singing the song zapped my focus back to Jesus, the only One who will ever.. do. You need love, His love will never fail. You need healing, He is healing. You need a friend, He is your eternal bff who is ever interested in your life: that crush you have, that excessive fat on the thighs, that fun career you are aiming for, that zit that is bugging you..
Whatever the means He uses to bless you, when you have Him, that's it. Everything else is from Him. He holds a position of fulfillment in your life that noone else will ever be able to give. Noone else will do. So look to Jesus!
There were times when I'd feel so lonely. Just broken up, wasn't that close with my family (biological or not), not a lot of buddies.. I knew I had socializing issues. And it took a long time for me to just admit it, that I wasn't that it-girl I'd always wanted to be. And it took a second of revelation to realize that that was completely okay!
So I throw my life upon all that You are, cos I know You gave it all for me. When all else fades, my soul will dance with You, where the Love lasts forever.
My life now, is in the hands of Jesus, of someone who gave all for me (and you). He left heaven, He let go of His comfort and position as God, came to earth and in the end let go of His Father's presence, His friends, His family, His clothes, lost His disciples, humiliated, and in the end, gave His life. For me and you. All that, you can see at the cross. And all that He gave up, is for you and me to receive: The presence of The Lord, friends, family, clothes on your back, provision and food for you to eat.. Which Hillsong also sang about in Beautiful Exchange. But that's a whole other story. I'm talking about Where the Love Lasts Forever now.
Imagine that teenager, having some serious self image issues. Guided by the stunning lyrics of a song, knowing that there was a God (not only a human, but God Himself), propelled by mere love, would gave up all, just for her. Just so that after all this life on earth, He could be with her in a situation where she could be loved with a love that never dies, His love that lasts forever.
I would cry to the song. The revelation it brings slowly but surely healed me inside out. I felt so loved, and it gives me that sense that I mean something to someOne, that someOne sees me of worth. Now don't get me wrong. I know we are not worthy. We are saved by God's grace and that's it, none of our performance plays part. But because I know I'm not worthy, yet God sees me worth saving, it is too much to comprehend, too good to be true.
God sees you worth sending His Son to die for, my friend. He loves you, and He wants you to be with Him. Period.
The song also shifts my focus from life now, to life after now. There is something better after we leave this earth: We will be with Him! And that place will be so beautiful, I couldn't imagine.
Back in 08 I haven't really known what the gift of salvation really means. Now I know FOR SURE that I will see Him. But even just the hope of seeing God is already powerful enough to ease the pain. How much more the assurance that you WILL be with Him!
Lots of other songs from Hillsong has beautiful messages. I'm not saying other Christian bands and singer doesn't. There are tons of anointed singers out there. But again, Hillsong has a soft spot in me.
Few more of my all time favorite songs besides those three, songs that left some deep footsteps:
- You
- Beautiful Exchange
- Unending Love
- Hope of The World
- Here in My Life
- One Way
- You Hold Me Now
- Came to My Rescue
- Light Will Shine
- Nova
- Like an Avalanche
- This is Our God
- You Deserve
- There is Nothing Like Your Love
- And their latest, Scandal of Grace
One more aspect that I really respect about Hillsong is that they really make quality music, that is on par if not better than some of the secular music. I mean, if you would create crappy low quality songs about Jesus then of course people would prefer secular music! But because there are quality Christian songs like these, I would happily choose Hillsong over any band or singer you would offer me. They are on trend and young! I really really am happy about that.
Gives us young Believers something cool to listen to other than old hymns. Not that hymns are uncool. But yeah. I'm saying it has its own place, but definitely not in my iphone on the way to school. Maybe on someone else's. I don't know.
And as a designer, I love their design and branding!! Oooohhh I'm excited. They have evolved a lot since the days of the first picture I put above. They are cool now. Super cool. So cool that it's inspiring. I'm just happy that the band I love pays good attention to design as well. ARGH. Two of my favorite things in life.
My favorites of their designs are the last two United albums, Aftermath and Zion. They are so cool can!!!!! Jaime Jie bought me the Aftermath album for my birthday last year. I was a little disappointed at first since I've got all their songs already, but boy once I opened it, them disappointments crumbled to inexistence.
 |
| So on trend. |
 |
| Their designers are so cool! |
Their series of aftermath stuff.
It. Was. Freaking. Cool.
I'm so glad she bought me the album. Thanks a lot Jie!!!
This year, how they prepared for Zion really gets people pumped up. The teaser teased successfully. Their marketing on Instagram was beautiful and smart. I was bought big time. It got me sooooooooooo hyped.
All pics brom their facebook.
And finally...
My very own Zion!!!! Go get it people!!! It's in stores now!!! And buy lah, don't download.. They worked hard for this! :)
I am a designer and illustrator. And I am a Believer. My biggest aim in life is to be able to design for God. That would be so amazing! And Hillsong inspires and gives me hope. The scale of what they are going, I want to do! Oooh I really love this band. They are amazing.
If one day someone from Hillsong reads this, know that I am really thankful of your existence and ministry. It has definitely touched me, and countless lives out there. God has used you so well in impacting my life. Just, THANK YOU!!!
For all aspiring Christian songwriters.. Hillsong definitely had their early days.. Go to youtube and you can see how they have evolved! But know that what you are doing really can impact and change people's lives! So if you like it, and even better if you are sure this is you calling, don't fret! You're doing something amazing for His Kingdom!!
For me, Hillsong is more than just a mere Christian band with cool songs. They more or less changed my life. They were there all along my walk with Jesus. Through them, I got to know my Jesus a lot more. I often use their songs to worship during my quiet time. So like how sometimes lovers have their "own" song, Hillsong's are mine and Jesus'. Their songs are a life soundtrack. An inspiration. A blessing. How bland will life be without them.
I think my 13 year old little brother Bryan described it best.
"Hillsong made praising Jesus fun."
Well said, bro.
Just got a new hair color! Can't wait to take a pic of it when the sun is up.
Anyway. Mixed feelings now. Something I've been successfully not think about suddenly came back to the surface.
It just makes me sad.
But we'll have to deal with it when the time comes.
May God make clear what He (or I) want at that point.
Anyway. Mixed feelings now. Something I've been successfully not think about suddenly came back to the surface.
It just makes me sad.
But we'll have to deal with it when the time comes.
May God make clear what He (or I) want at that point.
I'm gonna get you.
See this?
And this?
This?
See the sea of people enjoying Jesus?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'll be one of them. This July.
*faints.
Day 18 - Your beliefs. (part 3)
This is part 3 of Day 18 of the 30 Days Challenge - Your Beliefs.
Read part 1 and part 2!
8. Up and Down.
Since the third encounter, the journey with the Lord started strong.
I feel loved. I feel accepted. Finally, I'm not lonely. It was like I can face the anything. Throw the world at me, I have Jesus. Give me no friends, I have Jesus. I have Jesus and I shall preeeeeeeacchhhh His name all across the entire universe, aliens would listen. Fire was burning hot. I would debate about the Bible in class. I would correct my mom when I know she does wrong. Boy fire was hot.
But as most "old" Christians would know, the walk with the Lord isn't smooth sailing like that. The fire cooled down after a few months, and since then it has been a dragging walk. I was so afraid of losing my salvation that I was so conscious of sin. Friends are silently seeing me as someone too extreme in faith. One you would call a fanatic.
In the end I'm not so sure anymore at all that I'm going to heaven. I've sinned all over the place, and I realized that. But I can't give up Jesus, He's my only way to heaven. Yet I know I'm unqualified. The Bible is tough, man. I can't obey it perfectly, even though trust me, I really wanted to.
That consciousness that I failed to obey His will made me feel distant from God, eventhough He Himself was as close as ever. I know He will forgive and accept me, but it was just hard to keep the relationship going. Quiet time became a routine. It was heavy.
Don't get me wrong, I still love going church and cellgroup. It was my personal relationship with God that was breaking down. I want to love Him but I can't. And I was afraid that one day He'll lose His patience with me and that's it, I'm doomed for eternity.
But then I'll listen to a good, non-condemning sermon, and I'll be lifted up. But then it will slowly drag down again. And up again. And down again. Keeps going on like that. For so long.
So one year after I gave my life to Jesus in Surabaya, I moved to Singapore.
And boy did things get worse.
Relationship with God was... exhausting. Previously, it was like dragging rocks. Now I felt like dragging Goliath in his full armor with his mom and his dad and his grandma together with his house. In Surabaya, I was so close with my cellgroup, it helped. Here, the relationship wasn't that close. They are amazing people, maybe it's just the culture. I don't know. But it wasn't as close.
I would cry to the Lord, wondering what had happened. How could something that started so beautiful and hot turned out to be so dry? I'm tired of trying to get closer to God. It was so bad. Each time I go back for the holidays, it would be a breath of fresh air. But once I got back to Singapore, Goliath and his family came along as well. I was so frustrated.
But still, I can't give up Jesus. Heaven should be better than this, right?
After one year in Singapore, somehow Ghon decided to move here as well. Then, we both decided to try out Bethany Church, since it was a famous Indonesian church. Service was okay.
Then, we tried coming to the FA.
And that was where my whole relationship with Jesus took a drastic turn. I fell head over heels in love with Jesus all over again. And it has never died since. It has been almost three years now :)
Just by having this revelation of a major aspect of God that I never really understood for that first two years.
Which I will share in the next part :)
But you should know, right? Hint: It is often used as a girl's name.
See you around!
Read part 1 and part 2!
8. Up and Down.
Since the third encounter, the journey with the Lord started strong.
I feel loved. I feel accepted. Finally, I'm not lonely. It was like I can face the anything. Throw the world at me, I have Jesus. Give me no friends, I have Jesus. I have Jesus and I shall preeeeeeeacchhhh His name all across the entire universe, aliens would listen. Fire was burning hot. I would debate about the Bible in class. I would correct my mom when I know she does wrong. Boy fire was hot.
But as most "old" Christians would know, the walk with the Lord isn't smooth sailing like that. The fire cooled down after a few months, and since then it has been a dragging walk. I was so afraid of losing my salvation that I was so conscious of sin. Friends are silently seeing me as someone too extreme in faith. One you would call a fanatic.
In the end I'm not so sure anymore at all that I'm going to heaven. I've sinned all over the place, and I realized that. But I can't give up Jesus, He's my only way to heaven. Yet I know I'm unqualified. The Bible is tough, man. I can't obey it perfectly, even though trust me, I really wanted to.
That consciousness that I failed to obey His will made me feel distant from God, eventhough He Himself was as close as ever. I know He will forgive and accept me, but it was just hard to keep the relationship going. Quiet time became a routine. It was heavy.
Don't get me wrong, I still love going church and cellgroup. It was my personal relationship with God that was breaking down. I want to love Him but I can't. And I was afraid that one day He'll lose His patience with me and that's it, I'm doomed for eternity.
But then I'll listen to a good, non-condemning sermon, and I'll be lifted up. But then it will slowly drag down again. And up again. And down again. Keeps going on like that. For so long.
So one year after I gave my life to Jesus in Surabaya, I moved to Singapore.
And boy did things get worse.
Relationship with God was... exhausting. Previously, it was like dragging rocks. Now I felt like dragging Goliath in his full armor with his mom and his dad and his grandma together with his house. In Surabaya, I was so close with my cellgroup, it helped. Here, the relationship wasn't that close. They are amazing people, maybe it's just the culture. I don't know. But it wasn't as close.
I would cry to the Lord, wondering what had happened. How could something that started so beautiful and hot turned out to be so dry? I'm tired of trying to get closer to God. It was so bad. Each time I go back for the holidays, it would be a breath of fresh air. But once I got back to Singapore, Goliath and his family came along as well. I was so frustrated.
But still, I can't give up Jesus. Heaven should be better than this, right?
After one year in Singapore, somehow Ghon decided to move here as well. Then, we both decided to try out Bethany Church, since it was a famous Indonesian church. Service was okay.
Then, we tried coming to the FA.
And that was where my whole relationship with Jesus took a drastic turn. I fell head over heels in love with Jesus all over again. And it has never died since. It has been almost three years now :)
Just by having this revelation of a major aspect of God that I never really understood for that first two years.
Which I will share in the next part :)
But you should know, right? Hint: It is often used as a girl's name.
See you around!
170213
People know I like cheesy stuff.
I love big scale romance treatments. I love watching sweet proposals. (Quality) romance movies, lets watch. Have been praying to God that my romance life will be.. Outrageous. And romantic.
But there's a limit, really. Try too hard it gets uncool.
Like making love while you're floating in the air, in the outdoors with the full moon as your background.
Now that's just too much man, that's alien cheese.
But well if you do like stuff like that, you can watch Upside Down. Other than the overrated cheesiness, I quite like the movie, though some of my peers found it confusing and boring. I thought it's cool how they realize the concept of having a double gravity world.
The movie reminds me that if someone or something is worth it... It's worth it. *you don't say meme.
But yeah. Some things are just worth it, so you fight hard for it. We are worth it in God's eyes, and He fought hard for us. We are worthy enough for Him to give up His only Son, just so that now He can have many sons and daughter.
You are all precious, my readers.
Your pricetag is the blood of the Son of God. And He paid it. So never look less of yourself than who you really are. Precious and loved, unworthy made worthy just by His grace.
Good night!
I love big scale romance treatments. I love watching sweet proposals. (Quality) romance movies, lets watch. Have been praying to God that my romance life will be.. Outrageous. And romantic.
But there's a limit, really. Try too hard it gets uncool.
Like making love while you're floating in the air, in the outdoors with the full moon as your background.
Now that's just too much man, that's alien cheese.
But well if you do like stuff like that, you can watch Upside Down. Other than the overrated cheesiness, I quite like the movie, though some of my peers found it confusing and boring. I thought it's cool how they realize the concept of having a double gravity world.
The movie reminds me that if someone or something is worth it... It's worth it. *you don't say meme.
But yeah. Some things are just worth it, so you fight hard for it. We are worth it in God's eyes, and He fought hard for us. We are worthy enough for Him to give up His only Son, just so that now He can have many sons and daughter.
You are all precious, my readers.
Your pricetag is the blood of the Son of God. And He paid it. So never look less of yourself than who you really are. Precious and loved, unworthy made worthy just by His grace.
Good night!
1
They decided to name her Alex, though she's a girl.
Crying, the nurse carried her away. Carah released a relieved sigh. Finally, the one thing she's always wanted all along came to life. It was like she was born to be a mom.
Her husband sat next to her, holding her hand tight. It was quiet, but you can feel the peaceful joy in the air.
Carah met Joe in the airport. It was unusual, but it worked out. Carah was getting too old, all her girlfriends had settled down. For her, the desire came a little late. But it came.
Joe was younger than Carah, but both of them didn't mind. He's had his rough share of life, there is a bullet scar on his left leg. He moved away from his hometown, wanting to start over somewhere else.
They met, fell in love, and got married. Everything would be picture perfect once that little bundle of joy came. A boy or a girl, it wouldn't matter. They just needed a child to love. But it didn't come easy.
The waiting began. One year, two years, three.. They were getting impatient. Four, five.. They started to blame each other. Then themselves. It seemed like it was never going to happen. They tried and kept trying, only to find they needed to wait a little longer.
Much longer, in fact. It is a miracle in itself that they are still together through all the fighting and blaming and pain. Carah's mom passed away, while her dad had left her long ago. Now her parents won't ever get to see their grandchild, leaving her heart silently broken.
It was in their eighth year when the doctor said Carah was four weeks pregnant. Tears of joy flooded their eyes. Finally that room they prepared eight years ago will have someone living in it. Finally they can start shopping for baby clothes. Finally it will be three instead of two. Finally.
After the hopeful nine long months, baby Alex came. The baby that everyone has been waiting for is here, in the hands of the nurse.
Carah watched gleefully as Alex was taken away. She was overjoyed, but tired. She fell asleep.
Crying, the nurse carried her away. Carah released a relieved sigh. Finally, the one thing she's always wanted all along came to life. It was like she was born to be a mom.
Her husband sat next to her, holding her hand tight. It was quiet, but you can feel the peaceful joy in the air.
Carah met Joe in the airport. It was unusual, but it worked out. Carah was getting too old, all her girlfriends had settled down. For her, the desire came a little late. But it came.
Joe was younger than Carah, but both of them didn't mind. He's had his rough share of life, there is a bullet scar on his left leg. He moved away from his hometown, wanting to start over somewhere else.
They met, fell in love, and got married. Everything would be picture perfect once that little bundle of joy came. A boy or a girl, it wouldn't matter. They just needed a child to love. But it didn't come easy.
The waiting began. One year, two years, three.. They were getting impatient. Four, five.. They started to blame each other. Then themselves. It seemed like it was never going to happen. They tried and kept trying, only to find they needed to wait a little longer.
Much longer, in fact. It is a miracle in itself that they are still together through all the fighting and blaming and pain. Carah's mom passed away, while her dad had left her long ago. Now her parents won't ever get to see their grandchild, leaving her heart silently broken.
It was in their eighth year when the doctor said Carah was four weeks pregnant. Tears of joy flooded their eyes. Finally that room they prepared eight years ago will have someone living in it. Finally they can start shopping for baby clothes. Finally it will be three instead of two. Finally.
After the hopeful nine long months, baby Alex came. The baby that everyone has been waiting for is here, in the hands of the nurse.
Carah watched gleefully as Alex was taken away. She was overjoyed, but tired. She fell asleep.
Hello people!
I suddenly had a fever yesterday. Had no thermometer so didn't know technically how high it was. But it was pretty bad.
I first felt weird when we were karaokeing. My head suddenly became giddy and heavy. It was a little hard walking in a straight line, a few times I needed to hold on to the wall.
Then my body got very cold. There was a tingling feeling all over my skin. I felt so tired.
When we moved to McD, I can feel the temperature of myself rising. I touched my neck and it was burning hot. Couldn't stay still, needed to move all the time.
Worst thing was getting to bed. Whole body was hurting, and the room seemed very cold. Everytime I woke up to go to the toilet, head was pounding so bad. Every movement that involves my head hurts. It was like trying to sleep in pain.
Lets hope I get well soon. I got a 10 am flight to catch tomorrow! And a dissertation to finish.
I suddenly had a fever yesterday. Had no thermometer so didn't know technically how high it was. But it was pretty bad.
I first felt weird when we were karaokeing. My head suddenly became giddy and heavy. It was a little hard walking in a straight line, a few times I needed to hold on to the wall.
Then my body got very cold. There was a tingling feeling all over my skin. I felt so tired.
When we moved to McD, I can feel the temperature of myself rising. I touched my neck and it was burning hot. Couldn't stay still, needed to move all the time.
Worst thing was getting to bed. Whole body was hurting, and the room seemed very cold. Everytime I woke up to go to the toilet, head was pounding so bad. Every movement that involves my head hurts. It was like trying to sleep in pain.
Lets hope I get well soon. I got a 10 am flight to catch tomorrow! And a dissertation to finish.
I'm suddenly reminded of this feeling I had when I first gave my life to Jesus.
The sense that I'm never alone, anywhere, all the time. It made me so happy and peaceful.
Somehow, now, waiting for boarding, the feeling came back so vivid.
I love Jesus. Cos He loves me so much to never leave me alone ever, not for one moment. And He loves you that much too!
See you around!
The sense that I'm never alone, anywhere, all the time. It made me so happy and peaceful.
Somehow, now, waiting for boarding, the feeling came back so vivid.
I love Jesus. Cos He loves me so much to never leave me alone ever, not for one moment. And He loves you that much too!
See you around!
Bahasa Surabaya maneh.
Wes 21 taun aku hidup. Dan ada 2 manusia yang sangat signifikan efeknya dalam kehidupan ini.
2 manusia seng gak pernah gagal mbikin ak ngamok. Wes ancen bakat dari khayangan. Terus mereka kyk tukeran peran gitu. Mari seng satu pergi, satu e dateng. Dahsyat.
Lek gak onok Tuhan Yesus, pas ak masuk neraka buku dosaku isi e sebagian besar wes mengedel2 mereka berkali2 d kepala bekne.
YANG PERTAMA.
Muncul di kehidupanku ketika ak umur 8. Mengambil wujud seorang suster. Tua.
Pas itu Bryan baru mau lahir. Trs mama cari2 suster. Akhir e di kek i bekas suster e sepupu.
Pas ptama kali dateng ke rumah, ketokane buaek gitu. Guyu2. Membaur lah. Sebagai anak kecil yang polos, ak sempet sueneng pol mb dee.
Barang Bryan lahir, mak lampir e metu kuabeh. MBUENCEKNO amit2. Gak onok orang isa kayak gitu. Ak mau main mb Bryan ga oleh. Ngelek2no ak d dpn mbak2 seng lain. Ngelek2no mbak2 seng lain di depanku. Cuerewet. Opo ae di komen. Wes. Paling sensi mb aku. Musuh di dalam rumah. Musuh di kamar sebelah.
Bayangno lo ya ak ni arek umur 8 taun, opo seng mau di sensi? Kon sopo? Golek masalah tu ya mb emak2 sak umurmu lah. Mosok mb arek baru lewat masa balita.
Trus pas kita ke Singapore baru mbaik2i. Repot to gak isa ngmg inggris. Lek beli makan lak ga mungkin minta mama (papa opo maneh) nemeni. Secercah harapan e dee ya mek ak toh. Dibuaiki amit2. Manis e isa bikin org diabet. Sumpa. Tp mari balik Sby yo lampir maneh.
Wes terus yo, onok skandal nd rumah. Gosipnya dee cidek b sopirku dulu, padahal sopir e wes beristri beranak. Wes sueru, bahan gosip mbak2. Onok ae. Wes tuek to jd emak2 berkelas lah, ojok jd bahan gosip. Sakno se bener e.
Wes terus gitu sampek ak pindah Singapore. Piro taun cak iku! 10 taun ak idup mb dee!!! Iso bertahan. Maknyus. Ternyata, pas ak di Singapore, dia dipecat. Gara2 skandal iku. Ada sayang e se. Sak mbencek2no e dee, wes 10 taun idupku onok kicauan e dee d rumah. Jadi sepi. Tp damai. Nafas.
Wes to 1 ilang, muncul yang kedua. Dalam wujud tanteku tersayang.
Tante yang kutinggali rumahnya saat ini.
Tante kandung sedarah. Cece e papa.
Seng iki repot wes. Lek suster lak ancene manusia normal, trus crewet.
Lek seng iki gak. Ancene sodok. Mbuh pas muda katae papa onok depresi ta opo ngono lah trus jadi ngefek ke mental e dee. Jadi lek dee melakukan hal2 aneh gt yo gak iso disalahno la wong ancene sodok. Sedih hatiku.
Wes onoooooook ae seng dikomen. Dulu yo pas ak jek baru pinda Singapore, dituduh muacem2. Dee koyok punya masalah dalam mempercayai orang. Dibilang komsel, gak percaya. Pergi mb temen, ga percaya. Pikire ak ben pulang malem iku pigi clubbing tok. Coba sungguan. Stress gak kon?
Onok skali, dee telp hapeku. Trs karena si hape nd tas dan tasku akeh barang, kepencetlah tombol angkat. Tp yo terang gak onok jawaban lah kan hapene di dalem tas. Wes to, ak pulang sklh marigitu. barang menginjakkan kaki d rumah, kenek raungan macan sumpa. Diteriaki, tny opo o ditelpon kok gak disauti. Diomong keangkat gak sengaja, gak percaya. LHA KON TANYA AK JAWAB GAK PCY LAPO TANYA. Dee lo gaptek. SMS ae lo ga isa. Ngamuk2i ak soal teknologi. *napas*
Pernah lagi skali. ak mau pulang ke Sby. Dee minta detil penerbangan ben om isa nganter. Yo wes kon lek mau nganter butuh 2 detil: Terminal piro, mb jam piro. Ya nggak? Ya wes tak kasi terminal e mb jam e, tak tulis d kertas gt tak tinggal d meja makan, soale ak mesti pergi skolah. Wes. Moro2 ditelpon onok suara ngamok2. Nguamok dee gara2 ak gak kasi nomer penerbangan pesawat e. Mek gara2 iku tok. Nomer penerbangan. Kan tak pikir dee mana butuh gitu lo. Muisuh2 wes koyok opo ae. Tak pikir gendeng wong iki lek tak ladeni trs ak isa melok gendeng. Keterlaluan tp ancen iku. Ak sampek nangis di bus. Kata2 seng kluar dari bibir manis e dee iku sumpa, menghujam rusuk. Ternyata dee mau nomer e ben isa tau lek bakal delay dsb. Yo ngmg baik2 to ojok bar2. Manusia itu sudah seharusnya beradab.
Wes mboh opo ae suering kenek mb dee. Gak lapo2 diamuki. Ringkesi ranjang gak sesuai cara e dee diamuki. Dee ngmg, tak sauti, dee gak denger, ak diamuki. Ancene wes tuek gak krungu yo salahmu toooooooo mosok akuuuuuuuu. Haiz.
Dulu nangis tok ak kenek dee. Gak lapo2 kenek amuk trs salah terus. Sopo seng tahan?
Lek gak ngamuk, komen. Opo ae wes onok dikomen i. Ben makan, dijelasno iki ayam iki ikan iki daging iki sayur. Tiap malem. Tiap dee masak. Kudu tak sauti mbo pikir ak buta aaaaaaa gak ketok aaaaa? Tiap malem lo! Ketokane simpel to tapi dgrno gitu terus tiap hari lek gak muntab. Sampe lek misale ancene moodku wes gak kuat menahan tak sauti "yes I know." Wes. Diem dee.
Trs karena sodok, dee ya lupaan. Lek pagi wes pamit malem mau pulang malem, malam bakal ditelp diamuk2i opo o kok pulang malem. Gigit spatu. Tp skarang dee wes biasa ak pulang malem jadi sudah bukan menjadi masalah.
Trus sodok e iku ya bikin mood e gampang naik turun. Semenit marah semenit seneng. Tp lebih akeh marah e. Kuarepe dee to marah seneng sedih marah trs lek marah yo sopo seng kenek. Aku. Dan ak ga isa komplen, mek isa nerima. Perasaanku dipermainkan. Haih.
Tadi pagi barusan kejadian maneh. Ak mau ke rumah ahma (emakku, mbok e dee), mau kasi duit dr papa, skalian ambil angpao. Trs dee nawari, soale dee mau ke sana, jd isa titip dee. Yo wes to ak ya mau ae. Tp marigitu ahma telpon rumah. Kaya pengen aku dateng ke sana. Yo wes lo ak bilang aku dateng. Bukan masalah lha, ahma dewe.
Trs tante tanyak, "ahma telpon?" (Translated into medok.)
"iya"
"opo o?"
"tanyak ak bakal ke sana apa enggak"
"trus? kamu bakal ke sana?"
"iya"
nada gak percaya "oke loh"
Pas dee ngmg "oke loh" iku yo... Nadaeee.... gak isa njelasno ak. Kayak meremehkan gt lo. Seolah ak ini cucu durhaka seng gak mungkin punya hati njenguk ahma e. Tuolong yo masio ak jarang ke sana ya apa iku ahmaku. Dan ak kan jadi gak butuh 'jasa'e dee nganter jemput duit. Dan dee rasa e gak suka kenyatan bahwa dee jadi 'gak berguna'.
Wes. Marigitu ak masak mie gae makan siang. Dikooooomeeeeeeen ae. Air e blom mendidih. Iki lah iku lah. Lek diskala gt yo ak panas e wes merah. Tit tut tit tut. Titik mane wes blaaarrrr.
Seng paling parah iku gak isa nyalahno dee pisan soale dee dewe ancene sodok. Jadi yo wes dulu iku frustasi2 dewe. Diajak ngmg baik2 gak iso. Dijelasno pelan2 gak mau denger. Kayak arek cilik sumpa wes gak mau dgrno omongane orang pokok e dee bener. *gunung meletus*
Wes mbo. 4 taun ak idup mb orang iki. Intensif ditempa buat jadi kebal soro. Tahan banting. Kyk ngene ku blajar buat gak dengerno kabeh kata2 orang. Gak isa kabeh dimasukno ati. Isa bertahan ky gini ae puji Tuhan wes.
Blajar buat masuk telinga kanan keluar telinga kiri. Lek wes kadung frustasi gt ya ya apa.. Lari e ke Tuhan.. Mosok mau lawan orang sodok.
Kata orang kalau mau kritik orang itu dibikin seperti sandwich. Pembukaan yang baik2, tengah seng elek2, tutup lagi mb seng baik. Karena itu, sekarang akan kututup dengan baik. Walau pada kenyataannya pembukaan e yo gak onok seng baik.
Walau nyebelno sak yak apa, gmn2 dee wes nampung ak 4 taun d rumah e (yang papaku mesti bayar tiap bulan lebih mahal dari beberapa temenku seng ngekos.) Wes dimasakno n dibelino dinner n lunch. Masakane dee enak se dee jago masak. Kadang lek pas lagi baik ya dikasi duit lunch gt lek pas dee ga masak.
Bajuku juga dicucino. Jadi ak gak pernah bingung soal laundry. Rumah dee seng bersih2 jadi ak ya gak pernah bingung soal urusan mberseni rumah. Lek ak sakit dee seng bawa ke dokter. Walau agak paranoid se flu biasa ae dee wes panik mau bawa ke dokter. Mesti ak seng sampe maksa2 gak usah minum panadol ae wes mari.
Yah lek gak lagi kumat ae dee oke kok. Kayak skarang. Masak dengan damai dee di dapur. Hhhh..
Tante, semoga km cpt2 sembuh ya. Jok aneh2. Sakno ponakanmu ini. Semoga juga cepet trima Tuhan Yesus. Trima kasih sudah mengijinkan ak tinggal d rumahmu. Trima kasih dimasakno, dicucino baju. Trima kasih bisa tolerate kamarku seng wes kyk kapal pecah. Dan terima kasih buat yang lain2nya. Tulus iki.
Yo wes lah. Dah!
Turning Two.
It has almost been two years! Talking about it made me realize, it has been that long.
I was about to say, "how time flies", but come to think of it, it didn't. It was a damn long two years.
And a lot has happened!
Auditioned, joined the Musical Cast crew. Knew a lot of new people!
Joined Phunk's Apprenticeship programme.
Had my first ever drawing exhibited.
Had my first ever celebrating new year with friends until 3 am. Elbowed our way through a sea of people, watched the fireworks, felt the hype of a new year with thousands of my kind. That was a first!
Celebrated Valentine's with FA, where a certain he made this huge epic scene, giving a bouquet of flowers to a certain her in front all of us. Just. Epic. I've never seen something like that so close up before.
Rallied a whole lot of people, raising fund to buy CP a new camera lens. It was a huge deal for me. Thanks for all who joined! Wasn't cheap, man.
A long period of being stressed out about design and exhibitions.
Turning 21, where on my birthday I needed to go to a meeting with Phunk. There goes the ever awaited 21st birthday that everyone is raving about. Spent mine in a meeting.
The miraculous series of events in getting my school scholarship.
Drama of the Exit Permit. There was once a period of time where we were waiting whether theclean and honest Indonesian Immigration would release my Exit Permit. If they didn't release it, I wouldn't be able to enter Indonesia again. Thank God for blessing my family with enough money. Please connect the dots.
Going to UK for two months. I frikkin went to HILLSONG LONDON!!! Grawl it was awesome!! UK changed me a lot. Made me more open minded about a lot of stuff. I wouldn't trade that two months for anything. I am just blessed!
Did the decor for TLG Christmas, where I really got to know closely a few more friends :) Days of creating those cards for each of the TLG kids.. Hope we got all of you covered!
CE JOAN's WEDDING. Highlight of the year, nuff said.
The forming of Blessekia Nobar.
Learnt a lot about praying for others. Your prayers carry power, so why just keep it for yourself? Share it with others too! :) It will not only affect them, it will affect you! I've seen prayers answered. I've seen friendships develop as a result of a 'mere' prayer. It is a journey on its own :)
SEKIA Christmas.
Awesome Christmas. Another new year.
School (again). Friends. Families. Life.
Have I grown?
Definitely.
I've grown in how I view myself. I've learnt to be honest with myself. I've learnt to see my self worth through Jesus' eyes. You don't mess with this girl. She's the King's precious beloved.
I've grown in how I view others. I've learnt that leadership isn't just about giving food to the lamb, it's also about tending the sheep. I've learnt that some relationships CAN be built when you involve God. Start from praying, then He will give you the desire and the wisdom to deal with people!
The best part after all this is how I've grown in my relationship with God. Through it all, I've got to know different sides of God. I've grown to depend on His Wisdom and Grace in life. I've seen Him work even more wonders. I've seen Him transform others and myself. I've felt Him healing hearts.
I will never get enough of Him, and neither will you. This is just some point in the beginning of an eternal journey.
Yeah man. It's almost been two years :)
I was about to say, "how time flies", but come to think of it, it didn't. It was a damn long two years.
And a lot has happened!
Auditioned, joined the Musical Cast crew. Knew a lot of new people!
Joined Phunk's Apprenticeship programme.
Had my first ever drawing exhibited.
Had my first ever celebrating new year with friends until 3 am. Elbowed our way through a sea of people, watched the fireworks, felt the hype of a new year with thousands of my kind. That was a first!
Celebrated Valentine's with FA, where a certain he made this huge epic scene, giving a bouquet of flowers to a certain her in front all of us. Just. Epic. I've never seen something like that so close up before.
Rallied a whole lot of people, raising fund to buy CP a new camera lens. It was a huge deal for me. Thanks for all who joined! Wasn't cheap, man.
A long period of being stressed out about design and exhibitions.
Turning 21, where on my birthday I needed to go to a meeting with Phunk. There goes the ever awaited 21st birthday that everyone is raving about. Spent mine in a meeting.
The miraculous series of events in getting my school scholarship.
Drama of the Exit Permit. There was once a period of time where we were waiting whether the
Going to UK for two months. I frikkin went to HILLSONG LONDON!!! Grawl it was awesome!! UK changed me a lot. Made me more open minded about a lot of stuff. I wouldn't trade that two months for anything. I am just blessed!
Did the decor for TLG Christmas, where I really got to know closely a few more friends :) Days of creating those cards for each of the TLG kids.. Hope we got all of you covered!
CE JOAN's WEDDING. Highlight of the year, nuff said.
The forming of Blessekia Nobar.
Learnt a lot about praying for others. Your prayers carry power, so why just keep it for yourself? Share it with others too! :) It will not only affect them, it will affect you! I've seen prayers answered. I've seen friendships develop as a result of a 'mere' prayer. It is a journey on its own :)
SEKIA Christmas.
Awesome Christmas. Another new year.
School (again). Friends. Families. Life.
Have I grown?
Definitely.
I've grown in how I view myself. I've learnt to be honest with myself. I've learnt to see my self worth through Jesus' eyes. You don't mess with this girl. She's the King's precious beloved.
I've grown in how I view others. I've learnt that leadership isn't just about giving food to the lamb, it's also about tending the sheep. I've learnt that some relationships CAN be built when you involve God. Start from praying, then He will give you the desire and the wisdom to deal with people!
The best part after all this is how I've grown in my relationship with God. Through it all, I've got to know different sides of God. I've grown to depend on His Wisdom and Grace in life. I've seen Him work even more wonders. I've seen Him transform others and myself. I've felt Him healing hearts.
I will never get enough of Him, and neither will you. This is just some point in the beginning of an eternal journey.
Yeah man. It's almost been two years :)
Certificate of Appreciation.
I am part of a community called The Last Generation, or TLG. It is the youth community of Bethany Church Singapore.
TLG is currently led by 4 leaders: Ko Iie, Ko Hendra, Ko Raimond, and Ko Willy.
These 4 person reminds me of 4 legs of a table, working together to hold the table up. All these years, they have been pouring their hearts and energy out to take care of a LOT of kids, including me!
I am grateful for each of them. They have their own unique characteristics. Yeah, come to think of it now, they are 4 contrastingly different individuals! But the way they work to sustain TLG is applaudable :D
The least that we can give them is our gratitude. So I was blessed enough to be asked to create these Certificate of Appreciations, one for each. I had a lot of fun doing it, and here it is!
I'll elaborate more on each of them in upcoming posts, if I am not too lazy.
But for now, I just want to say thank you for everything, leaders!!
I know things are going to change sooner or later, but you four will remain in my heart as our 4 Sesepuh for a very long time!
:D
TLG is currently led by 4 leaders: Ko Iie, Ko Hendra, Ko Raimond, and Ko Willy.
These 4 person reminds me of 4 legs of a table, working together to hold the table up. All these years, they have been pouring their hearts and energy out to take care of a LOT of kids, including me!
I am grateful for each of them. They have their own unique characteristics. Yeah, come to think of it now, they are 4 contrastingly different individuals! But the way they work to sustain TLG is applaudable :D
The least that we can give them is our gratitude. So I was blessed enough to be asked to create these Certificate of Appreciations, one for each. I had a lot of fun doing it, and here it is!
I'll elaborate more on each of them in upcoming posts, if I am not too lazy.
But for now, I just want to say thank you for everything, leaders!!
I know things are going to change sooner or later, but you four will remain in my heart as our 4 Sesepuh for a very long time!
:D
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