Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your life.

When I was a kid and I've done something wrong, and I knew my parents will scold me, that's when I thought I'd just rather die. Because I was so scared with my dad. Extremely. Terrified. Of. Him.

He used to beat me when I was a kid. That caused deep trauma and fear.

Parents, your kids doesn't know that you beat them out of love. They don't think that way. You know what beatings will result? Fear. Not fear as in reverence and out of respect. Trust me, there are no respect involved. It's just fear. Which usually results in hatred.

I don't know how my relationship with my dad will turn out if I hadn't met Jesus. It was because of Him that I learnt to forgive my dad. Hence, a healed relationship with him.

You know, there are kids, after they have grown up, would not acknowledge their parents, or want nothing to do with them, and other horrible relationship stories.. If I hadn't met Jesus, I really think I would be heading that way. Which is so terrible. We don't want that.

So parents, don't sow fear in your children's hearts. That's a totally wrong direction. Teach them to respect you, not fear you. I am no parent so I can't tell you how.. All I can say is, ask God for wisdom when being a parent. He knows best.

So yeah, I had thoughts of dying before even becoming an emo teenager. Just because I was so afraid of being scolded and beaten.

That's day 5 for you. Good night!