I would say I am enjoying the single life!
To illustrate clearly, I divide my single period into 2:
Single BC: aged 0-16
Single AD: aged 17-now
What are the difference? Well..
- In between there was a relationship
- AD: I've received Jesus, BC: I haven't. I received Jesus in my relationship period.
Single BC was NOT FUN. I was standing on an unstable ground. I was trying to find self-worth in having lots of friends, being popular, being likable, and having a boyfriend. I really thought when I have a boyfriend to care for me and 'love', life would feel more complete.
We all know that is wrong.
So I had a boyfriend. He is (present tense) a very nice guy. Funny and easy to get along with. The first few months was rainbows and sunshines. But then, the emptiness I felt before slowly crawled back in.
There's nothing wrong with him. The problem is, I still am standing on shaky grounds. My boyfriend is an imperfect human being, thus he can't complete me. And I can't base my self worth on something as shaky as an imperfect human being. And Jesus was not involved in the relationship. That's two MAJOR problems.
Now, I've been single for 4 years, and I have known Jesus for 4 years too. My self worth and identity is based on how much God loves and desires me, shown and proven by the cross. And that's the ONLY stable ground around.
And with Jesus being the center, He gave me good friends, in church and in school, He repaired broken relationships with my family, and He gave me a life where "everything works together for my good (Rm 28:8)" to enjoy! So, life is really good!
Do I want to date? Yes I do! But I'm not desperate like I was before. I trust Him and His timing, and waiting for the right worthy guy.
I have a long (up to the hundreds) list of criteria of my dream boyfriend, but to sum it up:
- Is in a serious relationship. With Christ.
- Taller.
- Older.
- Has chemistry.
- Is ONLY after me. Guys, browse around all you like, make friends all you want. But when you have set your target, go for her only. I don't really like guys who goes after a lot of girls, then chooses one. Might work for other girls, but not me. Personal opinion.
- Not too fashionable. Just dresses normally and neatly.
- Not a graphic designer or illustrator.
- Physically not boring. And NO PIERCING. Tattoos are fine.
Number 5-8 are the less important ones. But 1-4 is a must.
And as you can see, I am a pretty traditional girl. Waiting to be found rather than actively searching around. Does not like pierced guys. Yeah.
So there you go. Day 1!! TTYL!
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