I spent the whole day with them, and came home so tired.
But come to think of it, I didn't do much. It was more of sitting down rather than walking around. I guess I was mentally tired. Maybe a little frustrated. Didn't talk much.
I planned to do my work the whole day yesterday, and it got so disrupted by their sudden arrival. The whole time I was with them, my mind was constantly on my FYP at home. So I couldn't fully enjoy my time. And I feel kinda bad because they wanted to make it a surprise for me. It was just that the timing was VERY wrong. Well, a surprise it was. Both for me and them.
I'm so saddened by the fact that they will be back on Friday. And the last day of set up for submission is on Saturday. Which means this whole week I'll most likely be doing my work. Which means I won't be able to spend much time with them while they are physically so near. Sigh. Complaining.
All these were burdening my mind the whole day yesterday, that by the time I reached home, I got so tired. Like, physically. It was almost as if the mental tiredness translated to my body.
It was around 8, and usually 8 pm is just the baby of the night. The moon still has a long way to go! But yesterday I went straight to bed. My eyes were super heavy. I played Man of Sorrows by Hillsong on my Iphone. The idea was to rest a while, and then back to work.
Turns out, before the song ended, I was already gone in my sleep.
Woke up a few times after that, but was still super tired. So again, played the song, and again, before the song ended, I was gone.
I really woke up at 11.30 pm, feeling terrible. I really didn't want to do any work. My parents are here!! I could be in the hotel with them right now! Sigh.
But did some work anyway. Watched Running Man. Listened to sermon. Talked to people online. Anything to accompany me doing work. Made some progress.
Worked all the way to 5 am, then headed back to bed. Any later and I would've seen the sunrise and I hated seeing the sunrise before bed. It is just WRONG.
But I couldn't sleep. Maybe because I slept like some 3 hours previously. So there I was, lying on my bed, hand grabbing my $5 teddy I bought when some secondary kids came to church selling some stuff for their fund raising. Though I've had him (yes, it's a him) for quite some time, I fell in love with him just recently.
So my mind wandered away, and it ended up at Jesus. What else could I think of?
I sung the lyrics of Man of Sorrows in my head.
CHORUS
Oh that rugged cross my salvation
Where Your love poured out over me
Now my soul cries out Hallelujah
Praise and honour unto Thee.
You know, the Holy Spirit could use any moment of your day to reveal a new revelation of Himself?
That moment, 5 am, on my bed, He revealed something so basic yet so powerful:
The man that died on the cross was GOD.
Yes yes, this is a basic knowledge if you're a Christian. But really, think about it for a moment.
This is GOD we're talking about. He was the beginning, He created the whole universe.
I did a post on this a while back, so I kinda know what's out there beyond our earth. He freaking created all those. He has full control over them. He owns them!
And not only the universe, He owns the Heavens as well! The Highest among the highest! He rules myriads of angels. He is a KING! Perfectly holy and just, and all together lovely that angels would just worship at the sight of Him!
This is a God who split oceans, stopped the sun, sent fire from the sky.. The One who is all powerful and mighty! Who created everything, who owns everything! The big G. O. D!
And he left all that, to come to the earth He created. The Creator, born again as one of His own creations! That is mind boggling. God is so huge!! And by huge I mean HUGE. We are but one speck among all His creations!
How about this. Canis Majoris is the biggest star out there. If the earth were the size of a golf ball, Canis Majoris would be the height of Mount Everest. SEVEN quadrillion (that's 15 zeros) earths can fit inside of this star. That number would cover the state of Texas 22 inches deep in golf balls.
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| And you can fit 1 million earths in the sun. |
And yet you can't even see it compared to the size of a galaxy. And a galaxy is one spot in a local group. You local group is one spot in a supercluster. And a supercluster is a tiny area in the observable universe.
And God, He CREATED all that. So I guess it's safe to say that it means He's "bigger."
And that God came to earth, as one of us, His created.
And what did we do to Him? Freaking killed Him. And He knew all well what we would do to Him. But He still came.
The fact that we weren't physically present during Jesus' crucifixion doesn't mean we can say that we didn't take part in killing Him. No, He was crucified for your sin and my sin.
Yet despite all that we have done to Him, He still is a God who asks us to cast our cares upon Him.
Who asks us not worry, for He provides.
Who supplies non stop grace, which is always sufficient.
Who asks us who are heavy laden to come to Him, so that He can give us rest.
Who promises that surely goodness and mercy shall follow us, all the days of our lives.
Who works behind the scene to help us.
Who makes everything work out for our good.
Who leaves His peace with us.
Who came to serve us, instead of asking to be served.
Who promises to never leave nor forsake us.
Who prepares a place for us in heaven.
Who promises food to eat and clothes to wear.
Who gives us Himself, in the Holy Spirit.
Who heals.
Who is eager to bless us.
And tonnes of other promises of His in the Bible.
What kind of God is this? This is too good to be true!!
Who forgives like Him? Who loves like Him?
I can't get over the fact that GOD HIMSELF died for me and you.
It just hit me last night that I basically killed Him. Working hand in hand with the rest of humanity.
And yet, He rose again, still full of unwavering love.
He didn't send an angel. He didn't send a very good man. He sent Himself.
His goodness doesn't make sense. Knowing fully that the ones He came for will torture and kill Him, He still came, just so that we can be with Him.
So there I was yesterday, on my bed. It only took a few seconds for the Holy Spirit to reveal all this to me, but it changed everything. I've heard all this. I've known this all along, and I've always believed it!
But last night was the first time I realized with all my being how big of a deal it was. How extremely huge and deep and wide the reality of God becoming a man was. Moreover, the fact that I was one of the ones who crucified Him. I am just as good as being there scorning Him 2000 years ago.
I'm out of words. I can only feel it, words doesn't do this revelation justice. I can't get over it. This just blows my mind no matter how I think about it.
Oh, it's revelations like these that change your life.
Ask God for revelations! You might not know just what God will reveal to you about Himself.
So I shall go to bed now.
Readers, be blessed!
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