Sometimes I think that I can’t hide my feelings well. Sometimes it just shows. When I’m sad it shows, when I’m happy it shows. When I’m annoyed, when I’m exited, when I’m uninterested or interested. Although not all the time (I think. I think during formal occasions or when really needed I can suck it up.)
Sometimes I really need my mom. I miss the days when I’m just a little girl. She was a supermom, she is always there, always able, so perfect. Now I can only BBM her, and sometimes it takes ages for her (or anyone. Including myself) to reply.
It’s been two years since I first moved here. Away from the ones I call family, blood related or not. I would say thanks to TLG. They make it a lot easier. They make Singapore homey.
My life is definitely not boring. Entering FA Anda, being a singer for the first time at YRC, WL in FA (for the first time also), knowing what grace is, the FA split, the musical, from audition to performance, and drawing the 28 slide, dealing with the weirdest peoples I’ve ever met, liking people, the Transmission and 100 friends with Phunk, finding a collaborator, having an internship, doing my first real freelance, all that and school work, exercises, assessments, ISPs, dealing with lecturers, going to Shanghai, taking a look at the most beautiful sunset and that crazy car ride; all that and more in a year.
I learnt a lot. I tasted what stress was like. It was terrible. Life really could be stressful. Before this year, “stress” was just a word for me. The worst feeling I’ve felt before was the day I turned single again in 08, and the months following. I thought it couldn’t get worse. I was so wrong man. Now I kinda understand why people would commit suicide and stuff. Then there’s depression, and what what the list goes on, things I don’t ever want to experience. We really are living in a broken down world.
But then, if I am experiencing it, then I can overcome it.
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. - 1 Cor 10:13
This verse really is true. And a lot of other verses comes to life also this past year.
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.” - Heb 13:5b
I learnt what this verse really means. How to hold on to it.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Rom 8:28
This verse is another verse I hold onto all the time.
The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. - Ps 23:1Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life.. - Ps 23:6aI am calling up memories of your sincere and unqualified faith (the leaning of your entire personality on God in Christ in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness).. - 2 Tim 1:5a
Gosh.. How glad I am that I’m in Jesus! How not to fall in love? Living in a world like this without the Lord — who says He will NEVER leave me (means no matter what He’ll stay with me and keep loving me) — who can tahan? I sure cannot. Without Christ, the future is blur without guarantee. But we have the promises of God to claim, Someone to hope on, “..and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” - Rom 5:5
What a relief! Going through tribulations, this verse comes to live. Even when my feelings are emo, God’s promise still stands firm! It’s there, not wavered by my feelings and mood. I’m thankful to have Someone to look onto and trust forever. It’s just the matter of keep remembering that I have that Person, cos sometimes when it’s getting tough, the feelings overwhelm and I tend to worry and forget that He’s there. Then, when I finally come to Him, He is always already there with His embrace :)
This is just one of the reasons to love Him. How not to? Jesus is not a religion. He is love. I am not religious. I am in love.
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