i’ve had problems with this since i moved to singapore in 2009. i would be doing homework till late midnight and suddenly get hungry, and would go out to the kitchen or dining room and grab something. the scariest thing is that it became somehow a habit and that’s the last thing you want. midnight cravings everynight.
I didnt see the harm before since no metter how much i eat, i usually stay at 55-56 kilos back in indonesia (boy i miss my 51 kg feel. that was in sec 1) so i kept snacking and snacking (CHIPS, white bread+kaya, pineapple tart, the floss snack thingy, cookies crisp, INDOMIE cooked and uncooked (i know its unhealthy. people, dont eat indomie this way), cup noodles, et cetera) until eventually, when i got up to that scale..
the arrow kept going..
to..
59.
That’s the heaviest i’ve ever been in my life and i feel fatter then ever.
I didnt mean to be ungrateful since i do know there are people out there that would do anything to be 59. it’s just that i not only feel fat, i felt kinda unhealthy too. and guilty T_T. It’s not that I actually felt fat and unhealthy physically, i didnt feel anything before i knew i was 59. it’s like, you feel kinda smart at school, and when you got one F, you suddenly feel stupid. Its more of a psychological thing i guess. knowing i was 59 made me feel unhealthy. and fat. and guilty (yeah i’m repeating myself).
When I got back to Indonesia for holidays, mom was so surprised of how much i got fatter (i personally didnt think there was any difference between the 55kg me and the 59. maybe because i look at the mirror everyday? but my mom saw the difference after 6 months not seeing me.) T_T
my biggest fear that time (was around year 1 sem 2) was growing to over 60. my weight has never started with a 6 ever.
Sooo… yeah. i am not 59 anymore btw (thank GOD!). not even 55 (another thank GOD!! :D)
still battling midnight cravings though hahahaha
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