Silvia Ghonata.

This girl just had her 21st birthday on September 9th.

So WELCOME TO THE TECHNICAL ADULTHOOD, FRIEND!!

So, like the Sally post I did on her birthday, I'll do a Ghon post!! Although it's a tad too late.

Well, for Sally's, it needed to be on time cos it was my birthday present for her since I was here in Singapore and she's in Indonesia. But for this one I can afford to be a little late (I guess), since we actually celebrated it here :D And I was always back home a little late lately, hence the missing mood to blog.

By the way, all Ghon's birthday pic featured in this post was edited by her, each and every one of them! She took around 4 hours to do them all, one by one :) Taken with my camera. So here goes the story.

2007

There's a new transfer student during the 11th grade. People said she looked like Ayin. I took a look at her, and IMO, the only thing similar between them is that she wears glasses and ties her hair into a ponytail.

*tried searching her old photo. Couldn't find any. Tsk.

Talked to her a bit. And that's it.

2008

I was at the point of my life where life felt so empty and I realized I needed a relationship with God, and being raised in a Catholic family, I had the privilege to come across the name "Jesus" at a young age.

But all along, going to church is a rare occasion, and I really really REALLY do not like it. No offense to anyone, but I couldn't stand being in a traditional Catholic church. It was so boring and full of rituals, which I did not understand why we do what we did. We were just told to sit, kneel, stand, sing, without knowing why nor what it represents.. Even our prayers are written on paper and I was just supposed to recite it! It was never a prayer from my heart. I was just reading.
Again, no offense. It might suit some people (like my mom. She doesn't like the loudness of a Charismatic church, which is totally fine by me), but it definitely didn't suit me.

So "Jesus" became a concept of a God that I am supposed to worship. But I never knew Who He really is, what He is like, or the wholeness of what He's done.

And according to my experience, a life without Jesus sooner or later will reach the point where it just felt empty and worthless.

You get good grades, so what? You'll grow up and it won't matter.
You become pretty, so what? There will always be someone prettier than you, and you will grow old anyway.
You have a boyfriend? Yeah, a guy likes you. So what? Feelings wear out, and mine does quickly.
You earn a lot of money? Trust me, it won't be enough. You'd want a happy family, a beautiful wife, a healthy life, good friends.. What's money without all those?
And in the end, you die. Nothing on earth matters anymore.

So there I was, at 17 years old knowing that I can't keep on living life like this. So my way of trying to have a relationship with God was to find a church.

I envy my friends who goes to church regularly and have friends there. It was such a foreign concept, and I want to experience it.

So during a school lunch break, I was talking to Leo.

Leo

I told him I want to go to church on Sunday. Not my Catholic church, but some other church where I have friends my age. And it just so happens that this girl was walking behind me. Leo called her and introduced me to her. And she is none other than our Silvia Ghonata! Talk about timing.

God used her at this very crucial moment of my life. He knows that she will be bold enough to ask me to come to church. Yeah, she's that fearless.

Turns out that they (Leo and Ghon) attend the same church and are attending the same cellgroup. So they invited me to go to Fire of God, a youth ministry of Mawar Sharon Church.

So immediately that Sunday, Leo brought me on his motorcycle to Ghon's house. My parents were so against me riding a motorbike, so I just told them that Leo was picking me up, not telling them using what manner of transportation. Badass.

From Ghon's house, we rode her car to church, with two of her cousins, Cory and Wiwi. And that's where we had our first ever conversation. She spoke to me about the importance of the Holy Spirit (yes, during our first ever conversation she's already preaching to me).

That day at church, I encountered a Jesus I've never known before. How ALIVE He is! And immediately I was smitten. Fell in love with Him, and His church.

Ghon introduced me to a lot of people at church, including Ce Linda, whom I came to love dearly. That day, Ce Linda prayed for me so that I am filled by the Holy Spirit. I sobbed and sobbed. It was all such a new experience.

And so, I was part of Fire of God, my new family in Christ!

Fire of God with our 3rd generation youth leader, Ko Budi. Now it's in it's 5th Generation, led by Ce Listi.

I was so happy! There was a feeling of acceptance, something that I have been looking for all along. It was like a second phase of my life. I joined her Remasa which was led by her, B-19. She became my Fas (Cellgroup leader).

However, our friendship didn't come easy. She was already so close to Sally that I often felt left out. Our characters wasn't exactly made for each other. And the more you know someone, the more your characters and true nature shows. That's exactly what happened, the more I know her, the more I figure we would never really be friends.

Trust me, I wanted to, but it just wasn't working out.

She was the oblivious type. She would walk into my class and not say hello, and stuff as simple as that that would raise my insecurity which was a major major character of mine back then. I would think that she doesn't like me, and that we would never click. It's not that I've done something wrong to her, it's more to like us and our characters weren't meant to be friends. She would talk and be loud with Sally, and somehow when it's just the two of us it would be dead silent which made it so awkward. I can't really pin point why it was that way. We just don't click. I was a kinda scared of her.

I often pray to God to repair our relationship. I still do that now, with all of my other relationships. Some has been answered, some not yet. But it's a journey with God on it's own.

2009

I was in B-19 for a few months. Not even a year, and I have to leave for Singapore. Though in reality it was a short period of time, it didn't feel that way. It felt like I've been with them for years, and I had such a great time with them. It was a group of people that you would really naturally call family.

Some pics of my moment of departure. Credits to Ko Popo.

Ghon, me, Sally, 09

That right there is Ce Linda.

Weep weep

Those who sent me off. Thanks!

I was so occupied with my church friends at that point that some of my other friends that sent me off that day actually complained to me that they felt ignored that day. My deepest apologies, people. And I do appreciate you being there :)

2010

During the holidays, I would come back home to Surabaya, and come back to Remasa and FOG again. But our relationship had no significant development.

Was back in town for the Christmas holidays.
The "Extravagant you!" retreat where we met Christa and Sabrina!

Celebrating my 19th birthday! Us in mid 2010

A puny pic of our group in the AOG Bootcamp. "Tentoro Gusti! Ho ho ho!"

Until one day she told me that she would be moving to Singapore as well.

I had a huge mixture of feelings. With our relationship being not that close (yet), I wonder what would happen if she moves here. Will she find another new good friend and I would feel left out again? That would be terrible since I was supposed to be her oldest (=closest) friend. If she moves here and I still can't be friends with her then I am just a failure in being a social being.

Yet, when God's plans are revealed, it is beautiful.

I guess we're basically stuck with each other, so we spent a lot of time together. And weirdly it felt natural for 2 person who aren't that close, not forced at all. At least, for me. I started wanting to see her and just spend time with her, just like what a friend would feel. And it is amazing because WE WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO CLICK. But actually we did.

We entered Bethany's youth community called YRC, where we joined FA Anda, where we met a lot of other amazing people, who turned out to be some very impactful presence in our lives.

I started feeling more comfortable being myself around her. Less of trying to be a friend, and starting to just be one. I used to blame myself if a conversation couldn't continue, and be so occupied with my weakness in socializing. But now the silence gets less awkward, and I slowly stopped being so self-conscious, condemning myself for everything that seemed to go wrong, and just enjoying her company.

I came to know that she's not that hard to talk to, not as scary as how I perceived her to be before. And she's really smart and funny. This used to be something that I see but not experience. Now that I experienced it, I treasure it. I also feel she has this natural charm that attracts the opposite gender. Not always romantically, but as a friend too.

One thing about her is that she's so honest. She would say stuff that is blatantly brutal, but it's the truth that is in her heart, and that makes her opinions relatable. And I learnt to be more honest with myself, that it's okay to be honest. At least in front of people I trust.

And turns out she's also a girly girl!! WAY more girly than me! She used to be so tomboy with her tees and jeans and Crocs shoes, and now she got her ears pierced and wears this ribbon earrings. And she would use skirts with ruffles, and just likes to shop!! And her knowledge of korean guys are v a s t.

Rewind it a year, I would have never thought she was like this.

Us near the end of 2010, Celebrating her Bday!

2011

By 2011, the awkwardness was all gone. I was so myself around her, it was the most natural thing ever. But even after we became closer, there were still some trials and process. I would get annoyed by her sometimes and vice versa. Our deeper characters starts to show even more, and sometimes it leads to some problems. And we actually talked about it, which was new for me. I don't really talk about things that annoy me with someone who does it. So yeah, that alone was a good progress.

And I know the Lord answered my prayers about her a few years ago. Our relationship was repaired, and even better then what I would have ever expected.

Random pic.

Uayu.

See how cheeky she is?

Again.

Blooper: She knows the camera is aiming at her. This is not a candid.

As singers for Bethany's Impact Conference.

Panci and MC!

I once heard, a friendship isn't a real friendship until it's tested. So, yeah, a few 'tests' did come about. But we know that we are not overcoming all the tests and processes ourselves. The Lord Himself is holding our hands. Our friendship is in His care.

Also in this year, FA Ands split into FA Sekia, led by none other than Ghon herself. So she became my official mom again! :D

SEKIA on Ghon's bday! Incomplete tho.

Now

She's one of my closest friend, hands down. And we are still getting used to each other, changing and learning from each other. I'm just glad that she's here in Singapore.

She's a different type from Sally, but both are very dear to my heart. God has used them majorly in my life, using their individual characters and ways.

It's amazing how God can turn someone who I thought has no possibility of even carrying a normal conversation with into one of my closest friend. It's amazing. I really literally sincerely never thought this would ever happen. That makes it clear to me that this friendship is breeded out of Jesus. And I'm not exaggerating. There are some people who I do feel I click with, like Sally and Mikey. But not her. And two years of not being able to carry a comfortable conversation was enough proof.

So this friendship in itself has God's fingerprints all over it. And I am most delighted :)

Anyway. Happy birthday again, Mbok! I said what I wanted to say in my letter, so you know it all :) Typing this in London and missing you! And now that we're both 21 and can legally be married, brace ourselves for our Boazes!!!!

See you in physically in two months!!!